When the Days are a Blur

This happened:

200 Days Seizure-FreeWoo hoo!

The rest of the days are a bit of a blur, as Vivian has been up most nights with stomach pain, from what we can tell. I think it’s related to starting solids. And when she wasn’t up with stomach pain, she’s wanted to have a party at 3am for an hour or so.

I made up a batch of pears purée, not realizing exactly how fibrous pears were for little baby tummies. Although she enjoyed it a lot(but the texture freaked her out a bit),  we had a bit of a double whammy with carrot and pear in one sitting, which caused her to have a sore bum. I think it’s going to take a bit of time for her to adjust to eating solids, but since she’s our first kiddo, we don’t really know what’s normal and what isn’t.

Ben and I are both so excited by Vivian’s interest in solids, though. We just can’t get over it. I had a teary-eyed moment at work when Ben sent me this image of all the food she ate in one sitting, without getting much on her bib. It was a very special moment that I don’t think I’ll forget any time soon. I am so mushy even looking at it again now.

Solids

Vivian’s milk intake has still been on the low side, and she had a temperature for a day or two this week. I think if she was coming down with something she would’ve displayed more symptoms by now, but she’s just been super fussy overall during the day, too. I don’t know if this is the start of teething? Something else? Whatever it is, it’s not been fun!

Vivian has been extremely fussy during her physical therapy sessions as well, which isn’t like her. I’m not sure if it’s tiredness due to crappy timing or again, if she’s just not feeling well.

We have ordered a custom wrist brace for her right wrist, because she tends to hold at an unnatural angle. Hopefully it helps. If she does it because of high muscle tone, it might actually be bad to use, because then her muscles will strengthen by pushing against the brace. It’s all very up in the air. We do try to correct her wrist position, but it’s hard to do it all the time. You can see it in the image below; it usually happens when she’s sitting and wanting to interact with toys.

Eating Mr. Snail

Update on the missing ophthalmologist notes: the eye doctor gave us a last-minute appointment last Tuesday to clear things up. He thinks he must have seen another two babies with some severe eyesight issues, and may have superimposed one of their cases onto his recollection of Vivian’s case when he wrote that latest letter to me. Her original prescription is correct, and yes, she should wear her glasses as much as possible. They are definitely making a difference in her strabismus and her vision. Glad that’s been cleared up!

He still thinks it’s too early to test for corticol vision impariment, and said that the test would do one of two things. Either give us a really good reading and show that Vivian’s eyesight is working normally (as in sending signals in a timely manner to her brain), or give us a crappy reading, which could just mean that Vivian isn’t paying attention during the test, or that Vivian’s vision isn’t working properly. He said the second instance wouldn’t give us great information to go on.

I am still wanting to know what BLENNZ will say though, so we’re proceeding with the assessment in early May with them.

Until next time, big hugs from us to you!

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Baby food, Bath-time & Babbling

Ok, time for Vivian updates. The weeks keep going by so quickly, it’s hard to recap!

We’ve been on a bit of a high after our neurology assessment the week before last. Getting that news that we could look at weaning her off of her maintenance med if the spasms stay away was really exciting.

Overall the past two weeks have been pretty easy-going. Ben is finally over whatever virus he had and Vivian and I didn’t get it (phew)! We got into a bit of a sleeping routine where Viv would be asleep pretty early at night (but still waking to have milk and go back to sleep). Then she got some really bad stomach upset over Easter weekend. She was up every night for an hour or two in a lot of discomfort. I think it was me not getting a good balance of hindmilk and foremilk in her bottles. She is past it now but it was really poopy to see her so unhappy.

For physical therapy, we are still working on rolling and putting weight on her arms, as well as sitting up and grasping objects for longer than a few seconds. She’s started grabbing her left toes easily with her left hand and will cross grab to her right foot now too. She still doesn’t really do much with her right hand, though. I’m worried about her right wrist constantly turning at an awkward angle. Ben’s going to ask our PT about that this week to see if there’s anything more that we can do. Maybe a brace? I don’t know.

Her glasses really do seem to be helping, as well as her hearing aids, although she’s becoming really good at getting one or both of her hearing aids out now. This usually happens when she’s laying down and can rub her face on something or rub her ear against her shoulder easily.

We’ve also been back to the hearing specialists, who have begun preparing Vivian for reaction hearing testing. I’m not sure how well it will go, but it will be interesting to see. Basically whenever Vivian hears a sound and turns toward the sound, she is rewarded with a puppet show.

It took her a couple of tries, but she got there in the end. She would mostly “still” when the loud sound played, instead of turn towards it, which is still a positive sign. We didn’t think to bring her glasses to the appointment (doh!) and so it was probably hard for her to really see the puppet, and honestly, the office is pretty distracting for her visually, so I’m not surprised by this. We’re due back in another month for some more testing.

Food-wise, Vivian’s intake has been a bit all over the place over the past two weeks. It’s not been as good as it was last month, with her volumes ranging from 500-700ml. Not sure what is going on there, but we’re working on it (as always).

We’re still experimenting with solids, and yogurt is still Vivian’s favorite food, after her milk of course. Carrot & kumera were probably the next favorite, but only the homemade version. The store-bought Wattie’s organic stuff didn’t go down awesomely. Pear got the nod. We tried a bit of bread today, with her yogurt. It got really mushy, really fast. Maybe a bit the size of a pea made it into the back of her mouth.

Yummy

Purées have definitely been the way to go! I made up a batch of carrot purée today and put some coconut cream and breast milk and a knob of butter into it for some extra calories. Hopefully Vivian won’t have any reactions to the butter.

We did offer her the spoon today and she actually tried to get it to her mouth, which we were not expecting. This was during yogurt-eating though, which is the only food she’ll actually open up and attempt to bite the spoon for. Yogurt is tasty!

Spoon

We are looking at getting her a high chair this week. I think I’ve found a model that will have a high enough back and some shoulder straps to help support her like her therapy chair does. It’s getting hard to feed her on the floor!

One other awesome thing that’s happened is Vivian has finally discovered that bath-time is fun. Before now, baths could really go either way; she would either tolerate them with mild curiosity, while staying incredibly still in the water, or she’d have a meltdown of epic proportions.

Water is for kicking, she says! And kicking she does, very well indeed! So well that she can get Ben’s face wet while he’s standing in the doorway of the bathroom (6 feet up in the air). I’ve found the safest place is down low next to her; no splashes there :)

And lastly, Vivian’s babbling has come back in full force. I think maybe while she was working very hard on getting some rolling down, her babbling took a back seat. I was starting to get worried. We are still being referred to a speech-language therapist to start speech therapy soon (we see one at the Champion Centre and one from ACC, but neither have approached us about Vivian’s lack of speech yet). I am happy that she is starting to produce new sounds now – some L sounds and some M sounds. Experimenting with her tongue more, etc. And blowing TONS of raspberries! So. Much. Spit.

Big hugs from us to you. Slobbery kisses from Vivian. She loves to tongue my cheeks at the moment, but not Ben’s. They must be too hairy?

Missing Ophthalmologist Notes

Skip this post if you want updates on Vivian – this is more about the New Zealand medical system and how frustrating it is at times. I will be writing a Vivian update post tomorrow, I promise!

I have started the referral process for Vivian to be assessed by the Blind and Low Vision Education Network New Zealand (BLENNZ) for corticol vision impairment. I had no idea I could start this process myself and was waiting for the ophthalmologist to test Vivian for this but he didn’t. I would rather try and get a diagnosis early on so we can get some vision therapy in place sooner rather than later but he and our neurologist seem to think it’s far too early to test for this, although they have both said repeatedly that she will undoubtedly have some degree of it.

Before I realized I could self-refer Vivian, I’ve had to call the hospital’s eye specialist clinic at least a half a dozen times to get the notes/records sent to me from the appointment we had in February. They initially sent me a letter that they also sent to Vivian’s pediatrician, but I wanted another copy of her prescription for corrective lenses and any notes he took on the tests he preformed, so I could forward them on to BLENNZ with the referral form.

After a few more increasingly frustrating phone calls wanting to speak to the opthalmologist to ask why he didn’t test for CVI, I received a phone call from the opthalmologist that I sadly missed, stating that he would move up our follow-up appointment (originally set for 6 months away) and that he didn’t feel the need to test her eyes for CVI until she was 18 months old.

Well, the eye department couldn’t even produce this. They referred me on to patient information and said I would need to request the records from there (with a release form). I did this and they sent me the same letter I had already been sent… This lead to more emails between myself and patient information, who were waiting on the eye department to find the notes, because apparently I should have called the eye department for these. Hello? I did. Numerous times! They told me to call patient information!

Finally we end up with a new letter from the opthalmologist, addressed to me on 1 April…stating that there seems to be some question of whether Vivian actually needs corrective lenses (there is no question about this in my mind? I never ever insinuated that there was) and whether the corrective lenses would help with her strabismus. He then wrote that her prescription was +1.50 in each eye, which is very ‘weak’, and said that the lenses wouldn’t make a difference in the strabismus, so she didn’t need to wear them all the time if they were causing her any sensory issues.

Honestly, I think he wrote this off the top of his head, to cover his ass, and that he probably didn’t even take proper notes at our appointment. I got the optometrist to send over a copy of the prescription we’d brought in. He originally gave Vivian a prescription for +3.50 in each eye, a much stronger prescription than he is stating in the letter. The optometrist who fitted her glasses said she should wear her glasses “every waking moment”. What in the honest fudge – are we even talking about the same baby? I called the eye department again and informed them of my serious concerns about this incorrect information. Of course the opthalmologist is now on holiday until next week so we will not know if Vivian even has the correct prescription until he gets back. I’m assuming she does have the correct prescription and he was relying on memory to write this letter, as the eye department cannot find any further notes from the appointment.

Baffling. And ridiculous. And a complete waste of my time and their time. The good news is the BLENNZ Christchurch folks have contacted me and they’re coming to assess Vivian in May.

I honestly don’t know how parents are meant to navigate this system without giving up out of sheer frustration. If I wasn’t so persistent I really feel like not a lot would be done for Vivian. Super frustrating, and super tiring. It should not be this difficult.

Epilepsy Means to Me

A post about what epilepsy means to a parent.

While Vivian’s epilepsy is controlled at the moment, it doesn’t mean that it always will be. So far we have been lucky to not see any more infantile spasms clusters or seizures, but we may not always be so lucky.

Epilepsy rarely stays the same in anyone.

Hoping that Fiona’s mum is getting some sleep tonight. I thank her for writing this.

Star In Her Eye

I’m usually late to parties, and last Thursday it was Epilepsy Awareness Day. So I’m arriving today. Here’s “what epilepsy mean to me,” as they say.

Epilepsy means that Fiona and this kit are never separated.

IMG_2433-0 Sealed, rectangular Tupperwear container with plastic syringe inside.

Epilepsy means this kit goes into the diaper bag, into my purse, wherever Fiona goes. Because inside the kit is the medicine to stop a seizure if it happens and if it goes on too long.

Epilepsy doesn’t mean that a person who is seizing can swallow his/her own tongue. I first learned this in a Cincinnati hospital after Fiona’s first seizure. That is one enduring myth, I thought. I was 33.

Epilepsy means that, when my husband and I went on a date the other night, and I found this Guide to Troubled Birds,

Book: Guide to Troubled Birds Book: Guide to Troubled Birds

 I thought…

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