Wedding (not tomato) season

Well!  I picked a really bad year to start a blog about gardening (amongst other things).  This summer has been really crappy weather-wise, at least for tomatoes, which was supposed to be my bumper crop this year!

It’s (again) been a while since I posted.  And I don’t feel horribly bad about that (sorry!).  I’ve  fallen behind on reading all the awesome blogs I follow, but I’m slowly catching up!  I blame the annual leave I took in January.  Blogging has been an outlet for me, and when I took time off, I didn’t need to say as much because I guess I had more time to do other things?  Plus, the weather has still been really…not summery, so my garden (sadly) is not as awesome as I thought it would be, hence the lack of garden updates.

I’m on annual leave again!  And I’m getting married next Saturday.  Surprise surprise!

By Ícaro Moreno Ramos (Wedding Photography) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

By Ícaro Moreno Ramos (Wedding Photography) via Wikimedia Commons

I do love the idea of being engaged, but Ben and I have been together 7+ years.  I really don’t see the point in a long engagement, or a big wedding, so I looked at the calendar and picked a day that I would like to celebrate for the rest of my life.  The 3rd of the 3rd sounded awesome, and it’ll definitely be easy for Ben to remember (jokes, I swear).   Plus, it’s half way between my birthday and Ben’s birthday, and if you include valentine’s day being a week and a half before my birthday, I’ve successfully wrangled us a month of celebrating!  I’m pretty satisfied about that! :) Not that we really do Valentine’s Day, in a commercial sense.

I’ve also turned 30 since the last time I posted.  Being 30 doesn’t feel much different from 29, but that combined with getting married soon has made me miss my family a lot.  Especially my mom.  I always thought she’d be here for this, but life doesn’t always work out the way you thought it would.

I know some folks might be wondering about our wedding plans — there really aren’t many.  We’re having a private ceremony at home with a celebrant and Ben’s parents as our witnesses.  Afterwards, I think Ben and I will just enjoy our wedding day together.  No reception.  We don’t really know heaps of people and Ben’s a fairly private person, so I think it would be awkward to have a lot of people over when we really just want to be married, for us.  I’m hoping our friends will understand that and not be offended that they’re not getting invited to a reception. We’re not even doing a wedding cake (neither of us are crazy about cake).  We thought about having a barbecue, but I’m not really sure we’ll even do that.

By Johnnie Allen [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Joe Falcon and Cléoma Falcon on their wedding day April 27th, 1932

Having spent the last few weeks looking at wedding stuff, it really amazes me.  The money there spent in the wedding market is unbelievable.  I can’t imagine spending thousands of dollars on a wedding. Many of the Western wedding traditions as we know them didn’t really exist until the last century, honestly, not a lot of it appeals to me.  Don’t get me wrong — I’ve been to a few weddings and they’ve been really beautiful.  They’re just not for me.

I wasn’t keen on the idea of wearing a dress, as I’m not really a dress (or skirt) kind of person, but I know Ben really would love to see me in a dress, so I managed to find one on my birthday.  It wasn’t an easy feat considering most of the stores out there don’t even carry my size (NZ 18).  It’s not a traditional wedding dress because it’s royal blue, but it fits me well, and I feel beautiful when I wear it.

I want to find some cheap live flowers (white and purple maybe?)  to plant in my tire planters (which have remained bare after I pulled out the nemophilias), but that’s about all the decorating I’m doing.  We’re still saving for a car.  The highlight of my birthday (after finding my dress) was buying a beautiful kaftan top for $5 when it was originally $60.  I don’t want to blow money on dead flowers, however pretty they are.  At least with live flowers we can enjoy them for a few weeks after the wedding!

Call me crazy if you want (a few people I know seem were flabbergasted by me not really wanting to get a dress), but I’m really happy about it all.  That’s what matters, right?

Have you ever gone the non-traditional route with something important?


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. elitrope
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 03:18:56

    Congratulations! My husband and I also went the non-traditional route. I never felt that a big traditional wedding was right for me, even though it was expected. We planned our whole wedding in the course of an hour while driving to a farm to attend a chicken workshop. We both invited one friend and their significant other. We asked another friend to marry us on the beach. I wore a sundress that my husband had bought for me. I asked my best friend to bring a small cake (her choice) to the dinner party and I made my own bouquet from cut flowers. We all went to our favorite restaurant for dinner afterwards. That was it. Even though our families were not happy, we love what we did and have no regrets. Your happiness IS what matters!


    • gwen
      Feb 27, 2012 @ 12:18:09

      Thank you for sharing your wedding story! It sound a lot like what Ben and I would like, minus the going out to dinner part. Something small, but no less special.


  2. Rebecca
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 04:28:59

    Holy guacamole girl!!! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!! I would love to see some pictures, I hope you at least take some so you can remember your special day. And who cares what other people think?! It’s about you and Ben!l
    I know a couple getting married in a few months, and since her parents are loaded and paying for everything – they’re talking about their invitations for $500, the cake for $1000 and I can’t even imagine how much her dress will cost!!! It just makes no sense to me at all. I guess that makes some people happy and that’s what ultimately matters!!


    • gwen
      Feb 27, 2012 @ 10:52:05

      Thank you! I’m not sure I’ll be posting pictures, but I might! :)

      When I was looking into booking a celebrant here, I told Ben I should really apply to become one. One of the better known celebrants in Christchurch wanted $450 for just the private ceremony with only Ben’s parents present, and no rehearsal. Crazy.


  3. Jules
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 08:37:16

    Mike and I went the very traditional route for our wedding of course… But we didn’t want it any other way. It cost quite a lot, even considering I found some great deals and made a lot of things myself. But we both have big families and are very sentimental, and couldn’t imagine our wedding without all our loved ones there to celebrate with us and support us. It’s all about doing what you want on your day, whether small and quiet or large and busy. Hope you have an amazing day!


    • gwen
      Feb 27, 2012 @ 10:50:17

      The pictures from your wedding were some of the most beautiful I’ve seen, Jules!

      Our situation is a lot different than yours, with all of my remaining family living in the US, and Ben’s family consisting only of his parents and his brother (who is currently in Europe).


  4. Lily
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 14:05:44

    Have a wonderful wedding day, gwen! It’s all about the two of you being happy, and whatever plans (big or small) make it so, is what’s right. Congrats. :)


  5. itchbay
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 16:20:30

    Felicitations on your engagement and impending nuptials!

    I tend to go the non traditional way with most things, and I appreciate the uniqueness of doing things your own way.


  6. April
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 09:53:39

    That sounds really nice, Gwen! I don’t think you’re crazy at all. My brother-in-law got married in his living room with six of us there, no official reception, and it was nice and peaceful. We got married in a state park with about 20 guests, almost all family. The only thing I really wanted was a dress I loved, and I found one.

    I love your idea of planting flowers for the wedding! I’m so excited for you!!


  7. promenadeplantings
    Mar 07, 2012 @ 09:03:45

    Congratulations, it sounds like you are both doing what you want to. And a big green thumbs up for live plants :)


  8. farmer_liz
    May 03, 2012 @ 11:00:39

    Hi Gwen, it sounds like a lovely day, and nice and simple, no need for a massive fuss or wasting heaps of money! You might have seen on my blog that I wore a green dress, we only had 30 guests, and a community hall. Cheers, Liz


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